MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
i am finding it harder and harder to get through my days... I'm sure my grandchildren are going to think I'm crazy since I can't even control my tears in front of them...
I want to feel better...I want someone to understand me better... The therapist and psychiatrist don't seem to want to hear what I'm saying... The only people that truly understand are the Adoptees, and some Birth parents that relinquished their children. There is so much anger and sadness in me and I have no where to safely let it go... Everyone wants me to shut up and be grateful...yes...grateful that I was tossed aside and forgotten about. I asked the psychiatrist "how am I supposed to grieve for my loss at birth?". He said to just think of what I got out of it... That I am supposed to be glad that I was adopted.
The Adoptive family needs to work on telling the Adoptee that they were not 'thrown away'. Saying that they were chosen doesn't take away the feelings they experience that they weren't good enough to stay with their Birth family. They need the true story in the birth Mother's own words and in her own handwriting. I know this would've helped me...alot!
i have some regulars on my site and they never say anything... I have now made it easier for them. Some of you know me better than I know myself and those are the ones that usually just pick up the phone and call me... Some will shoot me off a text or an email... And now I have a 'message me' button at the bottom right corner of the screen.
Don't be scared to use it...and remember anything and everything you say or ask will be kept secret... It's what I'm good at...I was born for secrets...
It saddens me to think that I have taken over doing the family tree for my birth Mother's side. It seems that my Aunt refuses to acknowledge my existence and the simple fact that we could actually get along. We apparently do have common interests but she seems to want me to stay quiet for the rest of my life. It's crazy how anyone can be so scared of an Adoptee to the degree that a lot of Adoptee's have been subjected too. All we really want is to feel complete. We generally aren't asking for anything else. It's hard to live your whole life in secrecy.