Why?

Why do angry people exist? Are they stuck and just scared to move into a feeling they’ve never experienced, or is it because they are happy in certain situations but they choose to portray themselves as angry for attention. I’ve noticed that angry people do get more recognition than happy or even content people. I prefer acknowledging the half and half people, the ones that say sorry for their poor behaviour, the ones that try to boost someone else’s spirits when they themselves are struggling. I am finally at the point in my life where I feel ‘half and half’.

For 50 years I was one of those ‘happy’ type people but that just got me into health troubles. I watched my adoptive father be one of those ‘angry’ people and he died alone and in pain. That’s not what I want for myself and it really isn’t something I would wish on anyone.

My adoptive mother would make excuses all of the time for my adoptive father’s anger and at the time that I lived with them I always took it quite personal. I felt as though anything I did was wrong and I couldn’t make him proud of me no matter what. After I would retreat into my shell she would come and say that he loved me and thought I was selling myself too short. He thought I was better than what I was showing. It was a struggle for me to think that I had no baseline to go off of, so how could anyone know how good I was at something?

And now I am back to the question of why...