MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
“When adoptees hate their birth mothers, you have allowed adoption to win in your life.”
It’s amazing how these few words say it all. Why do we feel the need to carry so much anger towards the birth parents? If anything, there should be more anger directed at the system and the adoptive family’s They really are the in between that guided this whole catastrophe to occur. Don’t get me wrong, if the birth mother didn’t end up pregnant there wouldn’t have been an adoption taking place. But, it was the lack of guidance that was misplaced. When you take a young girl who has no legal rights to her own body she doesn’t get to make the decision to give her baby away or keep her baby. That is her parents decision. So when someone goes off about how it's the birth mother that needs to be held accountable for these 'choices' that were made for her, I feel like something should be said. The adoptees that freak out on birth mother's for this situation and calling them out for commenting about the pain and regrets they have do not give anyone the right to harrass anyone. The birth parents doesn't always say that 'its all about them'. Sometimes they actually do worry for their child. Who really has the knowledge to say they don’t?
Something that comes up on social media is the anger that some adoptees have for birth parents. Sometimes it is warranted but for some reason some adoptees don’t have a compassionate bone in their body. They instantly attack and can’t be open in their way of thinking about the birth mothers situation. They feel that the birth mother has no place in the world to speak. I feel like that’s silencing at its best. Something that the adoptee almost always has had to live with.
If anyone thinks it’s ok to play the game of ‘an eye for an eye’ then you really have no desire to go forward and be better.
My Best Friends
Scott Alan Warner
Angela Barra’s Medium
Adoptee Rights Australia
NPE and Me
The Invisible Threads