Unconditional?

The rude awakening of this Adoptee's life...I have never felt like anyone loved me unconditionally... Am I imagining this or does everyone go through this? It's impossible to explain to someone that you have lived with for 36 years that you still feel the conditions that you grew up with. How does one get over this pain? Having children did nothing...I distanced myself from them because I knew that one day they would leave me like everyone that meant anything to me did in the past. The grandchildren come with conditions... I can't get too close as I have been reminded over and over again by my children's significant others..

Will I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel? Or is death the only light that this Adoptee will receive unconditionally? I know there has to be more... Everyone keeps telling me there is.

un.........................conditional?