Trees

Reading helps me to clarify so many aspects of myself. I have this weird idea that maybe the birth agency or government entity should have to provide the newly adopted baby with a family tree and pictures of the family that he has blood ties to. I think this would of helped me growing up. It's not like I would've had the means or desire to search out the birth family. It would've just given me clarity as to who I was.

Having done my DNA and being able to have built my tree has given me a sense of belonging more than anyone can know. It was and is fulfilling to have 'my' history.

I know that I will never have a connection to my birth mother as that is the way she wants it so I have had to come to grips with being unwanted again. I don't blame her, I don't fault her, I pity her. It hurts me to think that I am the cause of all of her pain. I wish that I could apologize to her.

I found a very helpful quote from a blog:

I could only accept myself when I was able to know,
and embrace my dual identity...
by both birth and adoption.