The Blame Game

My brain still can’t stop thinking about the rights of children...or should I say the lack of rights for children?

I realized the other day that having been adopted and then sexually molested by my adoptive parents biological son put a whole lot of stress on me. Why am I the only one suffering and struggling? Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong? Why should I be quiet about my past? What did I do wrong? Why does the child molester get to do whatever he wants? He took away my childhood...it was bad enough that the adoption trauma took away part of my childhood, but it really sucks that some asshole that should’ve had more respect for me skewed my way of thinking forever.

I’m not sure if therapy and medication is ever going to teach me coping skills for the crap I went through. I want to be O.K. like everyone I know. I want to have my brain be capable of taking care of me. I should be allowed to have the life that I should’ve had...not the life the trauma has forced me into. I’m fortunate to have a great husband but I’ve never been able to have the kind of self esteem needed to finish school or even get a drivers license. I have never felt like I deserved anything good to happen to me. Everyday stress and bullshit is my normal. I want to know how to relax and enjoy life. Not worry if some asshole is going to shit on my day...