MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
Fight, Flight and Freeze.
The struggle of the 3 F's for an Adoptee can be educational for some.
The first Fight begins at birth to keep me with my Birth Mother. The final result of that of course is failure.
The Fight takes my mind to the Fight that I, Virginia, would have with the inner me, Mary. Mary was not allowed to be shown to the world. Virginia would have to fight to keep that side inside. The fear of letting the real me be known to the people that looked at me as a 'gift', the 'chosen one', would kill them and give them the proof that they always suspected...I was ungrateful.
The Flight begins as I age into a teenager and start the running away. The flight was unforgivable to the Adoptive parents. It almost killed me to think that I ruined so many people in my life.
This is when the Freeze steps in...it's like just burying it all into my gut and not bringing it out to deal with. I Froze to survive.
And now onto the rest of my awakening...the big thaw...which of course has involved a lot of tears like when an ice cube melts as it finally reaches the hell that I deserve.
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