Shame

It hurts me to the core to have to come to the realisation that I will never have my 'shame' fixed.

From everything that I have read it would appear to be a lost cause and I still have to break it to my therapist who had high hopes that I could 'get better'.

I'm not sure how to get through this experience of life if I can't find enough to joy to take my mind off of all the bad shit and the psychopath that I still have to deal with.

Why can't people just see me for who I am? Who I want to be? Who I was supposed to be? It's frustrating to feel the shame of having been born. To ruin so many lives and having no way to ever make it better. All I can do is feel guilty for every breath I have ever taken.

Shame has this very important function and works very well because feelings of shame are hard to ignore, and affect us very deeply. Shame experiences are repaired when we once again feel a sense of belonging: feel forgiven, fix our wrongdoing, don’t repeat the same mistake and are accepted back as a member of our social group in good standing. However, shame becomes toxic when a shame experience cannot be repaired.

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