Reading a tweet this morning got me to questioning society. If a woman believes that she would be a good mother and everyone around her says the same thing, why does she think that she could just adopt, of better yet, use a donor? Why do they get applauded for saving some poor wretch that would've had a horrible life?

Post Adoption Depression... What is that actually supposed to mean? Are the Adoptive parents' depressed that they got the wrong baby? Are they depressed because they realized that the child that they waited for isn't and never will be their own child? Seriously...WTF! And people give us Adoptee's a hard time for struggling through life with an identity crisis...

I'm pretty sure the Adoptive family should start showing us, the Adoptee and First Mother some gratitude... Instead of everyone expecting us to be grateful.

What if the kept children weren't allowed to ask about their ancestry? What if they couldn't know anything about their Grandparents? What if they had to do a make-believe family tree for their school assignment?

What if that was all I had to say?

When I talk about the Triad with people and let it out that my Adoptive father worshipped Hitler they get a quizzical look on their faces...I then explain to them that I am of English and Scandinavian descent. Then they get an even more quizzical look... Then I give them "the talk".

This is how Adoption used to work... Nobody thought about where the children were being placed. Nobody tried to match up the ethnicities with this experiment. It's sad to look back at these flaws now that I have read so many stories. I mentioned to someone yesterday that I had to be my own therapist because unfortunately we don't have enough competent health professionals. I have been buying every Adoption related book I can find. I've done so much reading that I could possibly start my own practice, or at the very least my own library strictly devoted to the Triad.

I have only one hope, and that is that for every new adoption that happens, there is an older Adoptee available for council... If society can't provide a health professional then they should at least find an Adoptee that is willing to walk the Triad through the trauma... And yes there is trauma no matter what any kept person tells you... everyone in the Triad suffers some degree of trauma.

Once upon a time someone implied that I was being disrespectful...

I love the tone that's in your laugh
Gasping for an extra breath
Waiting for the time to pass
I believe in days ahead
Don't spend another night alone
Cross and wishing you were dead

Mary, you shouldn't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

I've had it easy now you see
When i'm down you're always there
Standing by to comfort me
Someday we'll go round the world
I'll make the journey so sublime
I know you're not a travelin' girl

Mary, you shouldn't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

Cause i'd give everything i have
Forget all the things that bring me joy
If you could have one day
Pure and simple happiness
Until that moment comes
I'll be here where i've always been
I'm gonna be your friend
Until the day i die

Mary, shouln't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

Disenfranchised Grief is a real thing... Now to find some way to deal with it...