MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
How can it not hurt to read these words coming from other Adoptee's?
All I can say is that no matter how you were conceived you are here now and you can only look at all of the good that you have accomplished. That goes for the First Mother's as well, and I know that is hard to hear considering how you feel initially.
At first I was told these same words...I don't have the right to believe or disbelieve as I wasn't there. But then again neither was anyone else. There were only 2 people there and it's up to them to believe what they know to be the truth. This brings to mind the word 'judgement'. It is not our right to judge our first parents...let alone...anyone!
Have I mentioned all of the reading I've been doing? In every book I have read so far I have been able to find at least one good quote. This one can be very helpful for some of the Adoptee's that have only just begun their search for their true roots, and when I say 'true Roots', I actually mean the first family that was taken away from them...that was out of their control. I realize that babies have no control of their family but I also know that those same kept babies have mirroring available to them. Adoptee's lose out on so many things.
Jayne Askin quotes an individual:
"We are not separate or different than those born with a heritage they have always had knowledge of… and the freedom to investigate further if they so choose. Being denied information concerning myself that is not denied a non-adoptee is degrading and cruel… what an invasion of humanity… to close up a human life as a vault somewhere and say, “You may not know about yourself—you have not the right to even ask… your anxieties are neurotic, your curiosity unnatural.”
I can't seem to shake the fact that us Adoptee's really do have a split personality...
Today is an important day...
Reading a tweet this morning got me to questioning society. If a woman believes that she would be a good mother and everyone around her says the same thing, why does she think that she could just adopt, of better yet, use a donor? Why do they get applauded for saving some poor wretch that would've had a horrible life?
Post Adoption Depression... What is that actually supposed to mean? Are the Adoptive parents' depressed that they got the wrong baby? Are they depressed because they realized that the child that they waited for isn't and never will be their own child? Seriously...WTF! And people give us Adoptee's a hard time for struggling through life with an identity crisis...
I'm pretty sure the Adoptive family should start showing us, the Adoptee and First Mother some gratitude... Instead of everyone expecting us to be grateful.