I love the tone that's in your laugh
Gasping for an extra breath
Waiting for the time to pass
I believe in days ahead
Don't spend another night alone
Cross and wishing you were dead

Mary, you shouldn't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

I've had it easy now you see
When i'm down you're always there
Standing by to comfort me
Someday we'll go round the world
I'll make the journey so sublime
I know you're not a travelin' girl

Mary, you shouldn't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

Cause i'd give everything i have
Forget all the things that bring me joy
If you could have one day
Pure and simple happiness
Until that moment comes
I'll be here where i've always been
I'm gonna be your friend
Until the day i die

Mary, shouln't let 'em make you mad
You hold the best you can
And Mary, after all the pain is gone
I'm always gonna live to be your man

Disenfranchised Grief is a real thing... Now to find some way to deal with it...

There isn't any fear here
There isn't any fear in love
When You come, when You come, hmm
There isn't any hurt here
That You don't overwhelm
When You come, when You come, oooh

I am speechless, but I can't keep quiet
And I am wordless, but I can't stay silent
Oohooh, oohooh

There isn't any rush here
So I'm just gonna wait on You
And linger longer ohhhh
'Cause every time I find You
I'm a little more undone
When You come, when You come, ooh

I am speechless, but I can't keep quiet
And I am wordless, but I can't stay silent

Oohooh, I'm lost for words to say
Oohooh, You take my breath away
Oohooh, I'm lost for words to say
Oohooh, You take my breath away

Oh, You move me, and I can't define it
You consume me, and I can't describe it
Oh, I am speechless, but I can't keep quiet
And I am wordless, but I can't stay silent, silent, whoa

Whoa, I'm lost for words to say
Whoa, You take my breath away
Whoa, I'm lost for words to say
Whoa, You take my breath away

There isn't any fear here
There isn't any fear in love

So I can honestly say the books that I have been reading have seriously helped me see all the sides of the Triad, and now that I've been able to see one of the movies I can feel even more understanding.

The whole GoFundMe craze is awesome... Unless you're a first mother that wants to keep her baby and trys to get assistance from creating a GoFundMe page. Then you're a selfish and greedy...

I feel like this is what I did to my first mother's family... They just got tired of how emotionally draining I can be...I wish I could take it back...I wish someone would have given me a heads up that I would be destroying their lives.

But it is what it is...

Where are You now
When darkness seems to win?
Where are You now
When the world is crumbling?

Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say

Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey

Where are You now (where are You?)
When all I feel is doubt?
Oh, where are You now
When I can't figure it out?

Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say

Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey
Look up...

You're not threatened by the war
You're not shaken by the storm
I know You're in control
Even in our suffering
Even when it can't be seen
I know You're in control

Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say
I hear You say

Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey
Look up child, oh-oh-oooh
I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up child, hey

I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up, look up, look up, look up
Look up child, oh-ooh, ooh, oh-oooh...
I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up child, hey

I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up, look up, look up, look up
Look up child
I hear You say, You say, You say

I hear You, I hear You calling my name, oh
Look up child, hey
I hear You say, You say, You say
Look up, look up
Look up child, hey
Look up child, hey
Look up

When my oldest son was younger he had made his father a mug. And on that mug was the saying 'anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Dad'.

Over the years I never put much thought into this saying but now I have...I don't want my first mother to be a 'mom' to me, I just want an acknowledgement that she is my first mother... apparently that goes over most people's heads but for an Adoptee it's really quite straight forward. It would be nice if people thought about us as having been 'placed into a different family'. Maybe then they would understand us better.

It ticks me off that the general public have been brainwashed with these terms surrounding adoption. They sugar coat the reality of what we really went through... The trauma is real... We need understanding not brush us of as being Crazy for speaking up.

It's not just about reading, sometimes it's about videos