MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
Sometimes it feels like talking to a brick wall when someone talks to me about adoption... They seem to think that I'm supposed to show my gratitude and not say a negative thing. If I do say anything bad they tell me I must be wrong in the way I feel...
What gives anyone the right to tell anyone how they feel? It's like me thinking that my Birthmother's family should want to know me... It took me awhile but I think I finally understand... Can't say it hurts any less as the days go by but at least I can accept it better... Now if only people would quit telling us Adoptee's how we should feel...
i have a simple wish...I would love to be able to talk to someone in my birth family about family traditions. I would love to know what recipes were handed down from each generation.
It seems like a simple wish but it's also an impossible wish to obtain...
As I was reading my morning feed I came across one that struck me as very similar to my story. When my Adoptive mother died I was at work, I received a call that she had died at home while she was on the phone and my Adoptive father was gone somewhere. I said thank you for the call to their biological son and then sat and had a moment of tears. 9 years later I realize that the tears were actually tears of relief that part of my painful past was on its way out...
I know this seems cold but now that the Adoptive Father is also gone I feel a lot more relief than grief. I know I will never hear from anyone when their biological son passes but just the simple fact that the estate is finalized will help immensely.
This is truly a horrible way to live and I wonder if any kept child goes through this. I'm sure the ones that suffered abuse react the same but what about the adoptee that never suffered abuse growing up...do they feel a sense of relief that they can finally search for their roots. I know I never wanted to openly search for my birth family while the Adopters were alive. I was scared about how they would feel...not thinking of myself and my unanswered questions that I had all of my life.
I feel like the Adoptee's brain is always full of so many more questions than the kept child...I can't see how anyone could doubt this reality we live. Even the Adoptee that grew up in the perfect family must have some questions that they would like answers to. The health question is usually the biggest one. Our brain is really overloaded with these problematic things. It's frustrating that we are not allowed to know the answers. Even when we ask we are usually lied to or rejected our right to know the answers to our past life story.
Im excited for the Danroth Family Reunion...I really hope that my coming out of the closet hasn't made my birth family stay away...I would love to share everything I have learned and learn from everything they can share. I want to experience my Heritage the way everyone should get to...
I have a krumkake iron on its way...I have a potatoe ricer to make lefse and I'm positive my husband will make Norwegian Christmas Bread for the occasion. I have had my cookie press since as far back as I can remember and I know how to use it. I can't get across how excited I am for 2020.
I may have to draw the line on the attire...
Is it possible to have too many Family Trees? I'm working with Ancestry.com, MyHeritage.com, FamilyTreeDNA, and now Geni...I know there's more but that's my most common that I play with.
I just signed up for the Geni Pro account as well and had a few smart matches for my grandfather. Of course one of those was from my Aunt. I'm sure she'll be pissed with me for acknowledging it but at this point in my life I can't be concerned about how other people react to me. I've lived my whole life being a reject, now it's my turn to try something new...I have to say it's extremely hard to move forward but if I don't, death appears to be my only option... And I don't think my kids, Grandkids or husband want that to happen...yet.
This one makes me prouder than proud... She accomplished a two year course in 8 months even though it was supposed to take 10 months.
i can honestly say I am fortunate to have married her father...she takes after him in so many ways...work ethic, intelligence, and the ability to take care of people in the most compassionate way.
She is everything an Adoptee can ask for in a bloodline... It's too bad I will never know what she gets from my Birthmother's side. Just one more of those things that Adoptee's struggle with that the kept usually have the privilege to know. They will never understand what we go through and they will never care to know. These are the simple things that alot of us adoptees have to experience.
I don't wish Adoption on my worst enemy...it's really hard to explain but the pain is invisible and very, very real...and it lasts a lifetine...
My Best Friends
Scott Alan Warner
Angela Barra’s Medium
Adoptee Rights Australia
NPE and Me
The Invisible Threads