MARY LORRAINE DANROTH
I’ve read a few posts lately from angry Adoptees and I have to say they are pissing me off. For some reason they keep repeating that Birth Mothers and Adoptive Mothers have no right to speak about adoption. I say they do.
When I was a young adoptee there was no one around to observe me. The only person that could see what I was doing and how I was reacting was my adoptive mother. I wish she had been educated about the life of an adoptee. She was unaware to the reality of the trauma and grief that I was going through. If she had known, she probably would’ve tried harder to be the mother that I needed instead of believing the unicorn and rainbow narrative.
Who do these angry adoptees think they are fighting for? I know I don’t like the way they are going about getting people to hear me. I have experienced the ‘get more bees with honey’ style than anything else. I have never been able to get someone to listen to me because I gave them shit for not listening to me. I don’t fault them either. When my adoptive father was giving me shit once and was going on and on in his usual lecture tone, I fell asleep. That didn’t go well. Calling me stupid and a twat didn’t bring me in either. So, once again I would hope that these angry adoptees reel it in. They’re not helping anyone. They look foolish and immature. Almost like they are trying to make the whole adoption community a joke.
If we close the door on the birth mother we are closing the door on the trauma our siblings have had to go through. Why is it their fault? Why shouldn’t there be a round table to speak at? They probably weren’t even aware that they could’ve had a better mother than they got. So much pain in everyone’s lives.
My children deserve to know the truth of the pain that everyone incurred. I don’t want them to hate people that have been traumatized by adoption. They carry their own trauma. Why should they think they need to be angry because I’m angry. I don’t want that for them.
My Best Friends
Scott Alan Warner
Angela Barra’s Medium
Adoptee Rights Australia
NPE and Me
The Invisible Threads